At least there will be turkey

Next week is Thanksgiving, which, all in all, is a beautiful holiday. The day before happens to be the 17th anniversary of my first contact with light. I would like to thank my mother and my father for bringing me into this world, and the rest of you should also thank them, because without them you'd all be without me.
Did you know that Disney World gives you a free ticket on your birthday? Funny enough, my birthday happens to intersect with my family's staying in Orlando. So now me, mom, dad, and brother 1, 3, and 4 are all going to hit up that magical land of wonders. I've never been there, so I'm a bit skeptical about the whole thing.
First off, I'm having trouble getting excited about the rides. According to ye olde Wikipedia, they have this one ride that features every president ever, but in robot form. My initial reaction is that it sounds like a great historical experience, but on second consideration it sounds like the best way to launch robot world domination. The brightest and the most popular men in history, robo-fied? The last thing earth needs is Jefferson, Jackson, JFK, and Obama working together against mankind.
Moving on, what's all this "It's a small world" business? Isn't that that song that the toucan in The Lion King randomly started singing? Now there's a ride based off of that one moment? Sounds like a painfully mundane, forgettable experience. The song's not even catchy!
In conclusion, these two waste-of-space rides probably bring the rest of the experience down. How can you enjoy Space Mountain when you know you are right next to a crazed, murderous Abraham Lincoln cyborg? How can you scream on the Tower of Terror when a bunch of mini people are lying about the size of the world? You can't.
I will hate Disney, sadly. I will try to like it, but I just don't see that happening.

*****!

A teacher, Ashley Payne, got fired for posting an expletive, that word that rhymes with kitsch, on her facebook. Also, she was holding wine in a picture. The school district forced her to resign because her conduct was "unacceptable."
This is flipping ridiculous. Is there a list of words you are not allowed to post online? Is the school district condoning or even, dare I say it, supporting censorship? Okay, I can understand pushing for a little discretion, but what she posted certainly wasn't against the law and I don't even think it was unethical.
The reaction is even worse. Maybe they could kindly ask her to take the "objectionable" content down - but no, they force her to resign. They have the right to fire her, but shouldn't they have a legitimate reason?
Now, she is suing the school district. Good luck!

My life is no longer mine

I am scared easily by a lot of things. The other day, I was just innocently driving home, blasting my music, singing along. I pulled into the driveway and turned off the car. I opened my front door and sat there for a few seconds with the door hanging open. Finally, I got out, shut the door and started to walk up to my house, humming. Then I looked up.

Standing in front of my house was a big black dog. A very big black dog. So, of course, I was a bit shocked. I froze: maybe dogs work like Tyrannosaurus Rexes and only see movement. Everything was going fine and the dog wasn't attacking me or anything, but we really weren't making any progress, because the dog still wasn't moving.

All of the sudden, it started howling at me! Loudly. By the way, this dog was big. My impulsive self ordered me to walk towards it. So I did, and the dog backed up, and I was able to make it inside.

This was not my only encounter with the neighborhood demon. I spied the evil beast standing in the darkness at the end of my driveway, staring into my soul just last night. I'm beginning to think it is an escaped criminal disguised as a dog, just like in Harry Potter.

There is no escape. It is always watching. My life is no longer mine. It belongs to a big black dog.